Sired by a one-legged pirate drowning his woes in liquor on the small island of Martinique, Rebecca knew from the first day she could know that her fate was large. once her father sailed away on his one-legged ship, she was abandoned to the wild, where she was raised by wild hogs. thus, at the age of fourteen, she was a shoe-in for the Sainte Marie Ecole Pour Jeunes Femmes. There she learned the precious skill of the slipknot, with which she shocked and amazed the admissions board of Carnegie Mellon. Today, as a buxom young lass, Rebecca spends her time growing leaves out of her elbows and staring vacantly at stop signs. She hopes to someday dance for the American Ballet Company.